Trying to Behave

This election season is quite possibly one of the more poignant of my time, and I think of even my parents time. While the Republicans have chosen their nominee for the presidential candidacy, the Democrats are still undecided. I caught about 3/4 of the debate last night after I got out of class, and what I saw really surprised me. Typical of debates are heated discussions that turn into arguments, that turn into bashing, that are eventually stomped out by the mediator- like I said typical. Last nights debate was anything but typical. Barack oozed with confidence and charisma reminiscent of, dare I say, Bill… While Hillary, still poised and confident on the issues, seemed less than her usual charismatic self.

The height of the debate was health-care reform, an issue that the two have little difference on. They quibbled about the execution of their plans, and how one was more realistic than the other. Truly trivial differences, when the likelihood of either candidate getting their plan passed after election time is small to say the least. Barack promoted change in how Washington operates, and Hillary,indeed agreed with that, but in order for that change to occur we need someone who knows how to work the system that is currently in place. All that talk of change brought out the accusation of Obama having plagiarized a portion of his speech. Hillary, unfortunately, reverted back to the old ways of cheap shots and personal affronts when she said “…that’s not change we can believe in, it is change we can Xerox.”I thought for a split second we were at a sporting event when the crowd that had gathered to listen to the debate actually “boo-ed” Hillary.

Texas, are you serious? You actually “boo-ed” someone during a debate? What are you all… twelve? Well that is a separate issue altogether I will leave for another time. Back to the subject…

Her experience in this type of venue was evident at the moment she was boo-ed, when her reaction was to merely shrug it off and move passed it. Experience. That was the foundation of Hillary’s argument last night. She has the experience to lead our country out of Iraq, the experience to stabilize the economy, and the experience to fulfill the needs of the less fortunate with universal health-care and aid for the prevention of foreclosed homes. Barack alluded to his lack of tenure being a catalyst for change, with a new approach and lack of ties to special interest groups. Hillary cited many of her accomplishments, and in doing so, did highlight Obama’s inexperience on the international level without any digs into his character.

The topics of Cuba, Kosovo, Iraq, and Venezuela were grazed over with Obama saying he is willing to sit down with our enemies providing there were “preparations”. This is a little different than prior statements he made implying he would sit down with our enemies without the forethought of them showing actions towards changing their practices. Hillary, as always, sailed through the international front regarding Cuba, standing firm on what she has always said which is “I’m going to be looking for some of those changes: releasing political prisoner[s], ending some of the oppressive practices on the press, opening up the economy”(Hillary Clinton,2/21/08 CNN/Univision debate).

No wonder the race is statistically so close, “It was a very odd debate — the questioners had to beg them to differ with each other,” said CNN senior political analyst Bill Schneider. That is really the way it seemed. Neither candidate really hit it out of the park, but neither gained any momentum either. After watching this debate, I am convinced more than ever that Hillary is the better candidate, if for no other reason than her economical track record and international savvy. Both topics are high on the list of priorities for voters. It all comes down to Experience versus Innovation… Clinton or Obama. While Obama’s innovation may be refreshing, Hillary’s experience is what we need to get out of this mess we are in. Do I think Obama will do a poor job? No, definitely not. I do however think Hillary’s experience will only help her in making the greatest use of the time she would have in office. When it all comes down to it I vote Hillary in the coming primary, but I don’t think either candidate is a bad choice… Come on people GET OUT AND VOTE! IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE!

I can just imagine what my grandmother would say if one of my brothers walked into the house with their pants sagging… “Oh mercy. For heaven’s sake pull your pants up!” This seems to be a running theme present in all generations, but not all genres. We have all witnessed the anomaly that has ruffled the feathers of Dallas Deputy Mayor Caraway, school board trustee Price, and many of the local community members. “I think it’s disrespectful, it’s dishonorable and it’s disgusting,” said Price (The Herald Democrat). Is it really disrespectful, dishonorable, and disgusting to sag your pants? Let us discourse about these attributes a little.

To be disrespectful is to lack courtesy or esteem. The perception of lack of respect from the younger generations to the older generations is a conundrum older than the current phenomenon of baggy pants. In the 30’s it was the zoot suit with their extra long jackets and double cuff pants, in the 40’s came the high waisted cinch pants of the 30’s zoot suit without the cuff called “baggies”, in the 50’s the ever popular cigarette box rolled in the sleeve of a plain white undershirt, in the 60’s men liked their shirts to show off their chests, the 70’s affinity for spandex, the 80’s cut off everything… And so I have made my point that in every decade of fashion there is always something someone from another generation or genre won’t like and find offensive- thus labeling the trend as disrespectful. Meaning that if I don’t like what you are wearing, doing, or saying, you must not have any respect for me because you do not fit my idea of what is proper… I find people that wear pants that are too small offensive. Am I so arrogant and presumptuous to think that they must go purchase pants two sizes larger to appease me? No, certainly not, nor would I throw a fit and demand they respect my wishes by hiding their “curves” under some rectangular article of clothing, namely a poncho. And I would never dream of trying to legislate fashion. We are all free to have our own sense of style. Who am I to tell you something doesn’t look good…

Dishonorable. What defines honor that Mr. Price thinks he can call the adorning of pants that are far too large for the occupant the dishonorable thing? In my mind, and I am sure many more logical and level headed people, honor is something intangible. To do the honorable thing is to do the right thing, to stand up for what you believe in, to keep your word, and to live your life with dignity. If a young man in his twenties joins the Army and goes to war, and comes home on leave and finds the comfort, style, and proper ventilation, not to mention, the fashion statement a pair of ultra baggy jeans offers, is he then dishonorable or is it dishonorable for him to sport the trend just because someone else doesn’t care for it? Does it speak to his morals, ethics, integrity, or sense of duty to his country? I think not.

Disgusting to me describes this society’s haste to pass judgment on someone’s character by using such adjectives as dishonorable and disrespectful. Disgusting is the fact that the deputy mayor of Dallas is spending tax payer funds to try to legislate a bill to outlaw a person’s right to dress in a manner that is comfortable and expresses their sense of style. What is disgusting is this same deputy mayor plans to enforce this legislature by tying up already exhausted police resources with citing citizens of Dallas with tickets for sagging their pants. I am not a personal fan of the style, nor do I understand how walking around holding up the crotch of your pants is cool, but it isn’t for me to say what works for someone else. I do not propose to pass judgment on the character of anyone that partakes in the fashion trend. I agree with it being ruled out of schools, if for no other reason than safety. If Deputy Mayor Caraway does succeed in even passing a city ordinance regarding the non-saggation of britches, let us hope Mr. Deputy Mayor Caraway is not in need of the boys in blue when they are too busyfulfilling their new found positions as fashion police citing the fine citizens of the city of Dallas for the failure to comply with the ordinance.

In a reply to a post on my last blog, I made mention of a person being in control of their choices and not necessarily the circumstances they find themselves in. Today I had the opportunity to test my own advice, and I am ecstatic to say I actually followed it. So what is this advice I gave myself? Without pouring into the details I will relay this event that solidified for me I am on the right path.

For the first time in my life I was completely aware of the two paths/choices that were laid down in front of me. It was as if I was wide awake actually participating in my life, and having a hand in how it plays out. To my left was a well beaten path, the way could be seen until it bent downward and became part of the horizon. It was bright and clear, truly inviting. To my right was the path I had been on. Unlike the path to my left, this path was uneven and a fog enveloped the ground. As I walked down this path, the sky was the color of the dawns first light peaking across the sky, turning the clouds and trees black, while contrasting in the most beautiful blue hue over the onyx sky. Traditionally, the dawn is a symbol of hope and a promise for a new beginning. The night is mischievous. It can make you think things you know aren’t true. It will make you feel things you know aren’t right. Shrouded in mystery, the night can be a cold and lonely place if you allow it to control you. The path to the right that was mixed light and dark was not an easy one, but one on which you travel through life with heightened senses. You hear what your mind and your soul are telling you more clearly than you have ever thought possible- if you choose to listen. You no longer see with natural eyes, but rather see with your heart- if you care to see differently. Closing my eyes, inhaling, and exhaling- I listened and I saw my life for what I wanted it to be for what I knew it could be. When I opened my eyes and looked to my left, what I had envisioned in my mind was my future, and it did not even so much as resemble what was revealed to me in reality. I knew then, instantly that I needed to press on, moving towards the dawn’s horizon, and allow the next traveler the opportunity to walk in the warmth and comfort of the sun. That path was not for me.

I don’t think I am capable of sufficiently expressing the overwhelming sense of pride in my decision to continue down the path less traveled. To make a goal and make priorities that allow you to progress towards making your life what you believe it can be is the best feeling I have ever experienced in my life. In some form or another we all face choices every day. Whether you need to decide to choose the fruit instead of fries, the highway instead of the back roads, or to stay in a particular relationship or move on, my advice to anyone who wants it is for you to make these decisions with an open heart and an open mind. Follow your heart and do what will make you happy. Be awake and alert, listen to your soul, see with your heart, and you will find solace in whatever path you choose. Participate in your life, you won’t regret it.

We all visit a place in life we call Crossroads. Some of us that are driven and focused on living with purpose get to break free from this place that breeds complacency and mediocrity. Many of us can live the better part of our lives in this place that is neither cold nor hot, neither draining nor fulfilling, neither dark nor light. A small number of us come across these crossroads several times in our lives, and too many of us never get to leave.

The first true Crossroads of my life felt like the world was passing me by. Where only in the depths of my soul could be revealed the inner ebbs and flows of a life full of joy, as well as iniquities. I was suspended in a motionless space where thoughts and memories had no vessel to contain them. There was no going forward in this place and there was no going back. It was as if I had washed down river and set up camp at the delta of the river of Life. My path had plunged into the the massive expanse in front of me, and upon disappearing from my view to know that path became what I longed for. It seemed as if the ocean separated me from it. There was no ship to carry me to my destination. From this camp I could see the horizon. The ambivalence of the time acted like a wall, and through the cracks I could see glimpses of my most fervent desires. It seemed so close, and yet so far. My soul ached for fulfillment and my mind longed to leave that delta.

With only thought and memory to accompany me, I plunged into the depths of the unknown to leave forever the horrid purgatory of the Crossroads I had come to know so intimately. Like a pilgrim I press forward today, with a destination of the horizon, on a path undetermined.

All across the globe people are ramping up for the one day out of the year that is dedicated to the celebration of love.  While understandably not everyone celebrates Valentine’s Day, the argument that it is merely a commercial holiday created by greeting card companies is not accurate.  I would like to set straight this common misconception used by the anti-Valentine’s Day movement.

There are a few myths as to the origin of Valentine’s Day. The first dates back to the third century. During this time Claudius II had outlawed marriage in the attempt to build an army full of unattached, able-bodied young men. Valentine, seeing the injustice of it all, performed marriages in secret for lovers determined to take “the plunge”. The emperor found out [gasp!] and sentenced Valentine to death [shocker] around the middle of February.  In the next myth we have pre-Christian Rome as our back drop again, but this time Valentine freed Christians from a Roman prison, where they were often beaten and tortured for their faith. (How heroic!) Another commonly recognized myth is that Valentine himself sent the first “valentine” to his jailer’s daughter while incarcerated for an un-named crime. And finally my favorite, and in my opinion most likely to be accurate, a celebration of Valentine’s death was planned to coincide with the Roman fertility festival, Lupercalia.  It was common practice during the introduction of Christianity, for the early church fathers to create holidays for the non-Christians to identify with, thus making the conversion to Christianity easier. This happened with many other holidays such as Christmas with Yule the feast of Saturnalia and Easter with the celebration of the Saxon goddess of spring Estre.

Is Valentine’s Day a day for lovers? Allow me to offer my two cents. This claim of a day dedicated to a man, that, at best, had a sketchy history with the church, likely did not gain sainthood based sheerly on his benevolent, heroic, and romantic image. To think that the church, without ulterior motive, sponsored a day dedicated to the memory of a man that spread the message of brotherly love and secretly sponsored lovers in their desire to vow a lifetime together, all the while, breaking out persecuted Christians and penning love letters to a warden’s daughter seems highly unlikely. Logically speaking, it is probable that this was the propaganda spread by early church fathers to appease their already converted followers, of the legitimacy of the holiday by elevating a beloved man of the people to sainthood.

Does this mean we shouldn’t celebrate it? No, not necessarily. Just because yet another holiday has been commercialized doesn’t mean that you can’t celebrate in the true spirit of that holiday. If you need a reason to tell your loved one they are special then by all means use Saint Valentine to give you that reason, and if you treat your relationship everyday as if it was Valentine’s Day then you are living the good life! For all of you that are part of the anti-Valentine’s Day movement- be kind to those who do celebrate it, they are merely trying to show someone they love them!